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Pastors' Wives Retreat

Pastors' Wives Resource site provided by the Sunday School Discipleship Ministries International, a ministry of the Church of the Nazarene. We want to hear about your experiences, the lessons you’ve learned and how God’s Word and prayer supported and sustained you in the joys and challenges of parsonage life.

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Great is our Lord and mighty in power; His understanding has no limit. Ps 147:5

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We want to hear about your experiences, the lessons you’ve learned and how God’s Word and prayer supported and sustained you in the joys and challenges of parsonage life.

All submissions will be reviewed before they are posted.


PoWeR— the Pastors' Wives Resources website provides resources for the parsonage family. It is also a place where you will find a common bond with those who constantly face the joy and challenges of parsonage life…read more

Conflict Resolution PDF Print E-mail
Written by Linda Hardin   

Conflict—a word that can strike fear into some of us because we remember hearing that Christians don’t experience conflict.  Life, however, has a way of causing us to question that statement. So how do Christians handle conflict?

I remember a student in one of my adult degree completion groups. She seemed to think any work she submitted should be accepted, whether it met established criterion or not. I felt ineffective in communicating with her—and soon either of us could hear what the other was saying.

One evening in the midst of another attempt to explain expectation, a colleague joined us. Before long, Judy was “interpreting” what each of us was communicating. At the end of that conversation, the student and I understood each other—thanks to Judy’s intervention.

Wives of Ministers Bibliography PDF Print E-mail
Written by Linda Hardin   

The following books and short summaries are suggested reading. If you have books to recommend, please sent the title, author, publisher, and short summary to This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it




Listen Up PDF Print E-mail

“The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want…
He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake….”
(Psalm 23:1, 3)

“I am the good shepherd. I know my sheep and my sheep know me.”
(John 10:14)

“The man who enters by the gate is the shepherd of his sheep. The watchman
opens the gate for him, and the sheep listen to his voice. He calls his own sheep
by name and leads them out…and his sheep follow him because the sheep
know his voice. But they will never follow a stranger.”
(John 10:2-5)

Charles Stanley tells the story of traveling with a church tour group to the Holy Land, and during one of their stops they observed a very unusual thing happen right before their eyes. Two Bedouin shepherds, along with their flocks, crossed paths on a road. The sheep mingled momentarily with sheep being led by the shepherds. The members of the tour group looked on with awe as the sheep—who looked alike on the road that day—seemed to have no problem mixing with sheep from the other flock. Until it was time for their shepherds to move in separate directions.

The Measure of a Man PDF Print E-mail
Written by Gaby   
A few weeks ago we had a very hard week. It began with the passing of a beautiful 15-year old girl from our church. She had been battling bone cancer for a couple of years and went to be with Jesus last Sunday. Matt had been spending considerable amount of time with the family prior to her passing, to be a source of comfort, strength, prayer, wisdom, and whatever else a family in such a situation needs. He was there when our little friend took her last breath, and he accompanied the family through planning the funeral, choosing the casket, and making sure all the arrangements were made.

On Tuesday he spent the afternoon and evening with them at the viewing, and on Wednesday he performed part of her funeral, held at our church, before a crowd of about six hundred people. When he got into the car after the funeral was over, he broke down in exhaustion and grief. We made our way to the graveside service, accompanied the family home for a few more minutes and left. Matt has been in full-time ministry for eight years now. This sweet teenager was the first member a congregation he pastored to die.

The next day he stayed home to rest after what had been four grueling days. Late that night he received a call from a dear friend and congregation member stating that her husband had a heart attack and was recovering in CICU. Off he went to the hospital to pray with them and be their pastor. The next morning he got up early to take me to the doctor, for I had not been feeling well for a few days. The diagnosis: pneumonia. Since I was bed-ridden and very sick he had been taking care of the children and me, visiting the hospital, going to be instructed on how to take care of two different households full of cats that we would watch over the weekend while their owners were away, and trying to squeeze the necessary work that is required to hold a Sunday morning service, including preaching and leading worship.

Last night I walked into the living room feverish and miserable, and I found him listening to a broadcast of his beloved football team playing and folding laundry. Later on he got up in the middle of the night to hand me medicine and rub my back. Sunday he will stand in front of his congregation and deliver a sermon he has carefully researched and prepared and nobody but I will notice the stress marks around his mouth or the few extra gray hairs he developed this week.

And I simply watched and marveled. Because I married the man I have a certain bias, this I know. Sometimes it is a positive bias that sees the things he does as wonderful and sometimes I can be his worst critic because I know what he is capable of accomplishing. But this week I saw a side of him I had not had the privilege to experience before. This is not a tribute to a husband or a man; this is a tribute to my pastor. I knew just how broken he was about L’s death, how much he agonized to find the right words to say that would paint the picture of the wonderful human being that she was, and how much he prayed for her family as they dealt with her loss. I saw him hop to his feet, weary as he was, and jump in his car to get to the hospital when his friend needed him by his side in the CICU. I’ve witnessed him feeding, bathing, playing and reading to our kids at the end of the last few long days, then come to our room to make sure I had water, a blanket, or a kiss. And come Sunday, I will sit in the front row as he brings us words from God to encourage us and challenge us.

You may know lots of pastors who do this on a regular basis. This is what the good ones do. I just happened to have a front row seat this week into the world of one and a pair of eyes willing to pay attention. I thought about the old cliché: “what is the measure of a man?” Matt loves his congregation deeply, his family tenderly, and his God passionately. And because he loves them, he serves them unconditionally. I thought about the words of Jesus in Matthew 20:19 when he states that “whoever wants to be great among you must be a servant.” Matt serves. His understanding of Christ is that of a loving God who takes care of his people and that is the image of God he strives to portray every day of his life. What the measure of a man is can be debated. But the measure of my pastor is love.
When Small Is Big PDF Print E-mail

“If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, ‘Remove hence to yonder place;’ and it shall remove;

and nothing will be impossible unto you.” (Matthew 17:20 KJV)

There is a Turkish proverb that reads, “A small key opens big doors.” That’s logical, isn’t it? But human nature tends to argue that “Bigger is better.” Have you ever seen a photograph of a skinny sumo wrestler? They don’t exist. The word “skinny” is never used to describe these huge wrestlers. The average weight of a professional sumo wrestler is around 412 pounds (up from 317 in 1953). Sumo wrestlers are obsessed with size; they all want to get bigger. For them, bigger is always better.

Quiet Time PDF Print E-mail

I can’t remember when I last heard the expression, “Quiet Time.” It wasn’t in a sermon. Maybe it was in an article I read. A book? Probably. It’s one of those quaint sayings from the 1950s that you seldom hear used anymore, unless you like pop music. Or you’re shopping for a pet bed.

There’s “Time Out,” of course. But that’s an expression related to discipline. When kids hear it, they are quick to reply, “What did I do?” And in the next breath, they point to someone else in the room. And there is also “quiet,” as in the absence of noise. The hearing impaired know all about this condition and how expensive it is to correct.

Family Fun Night Ideas PDF Print E-mail
Written by Chrystal   

We are big fans of family nights here in the Smallwood home. Any chance we get we, usually on a Friday night, we have a family night. It's simply a night that we set aside to spend quality time together. Often it's a movie and pizza or popcorn, but other nights there are themes. I've put together a list of inexpensive ideas. I'm hoping you'll use them to spend some quality time with your families!

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A note to Pastors' husbands –  

We welcome pastors’ husbands to visit this page and to provide insights into the needs and challenges you face. Let us know how we can minister to you and assist as you fulfill your supportive roles. Send your comments and suggestions to us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Until then, we welcome you to join the discussions and provide resources on this site...Read More

Prayer support –

Each weekday, Sunday School and Discipleship Ministries International (SDMI) meet for prayer. All requests will be presented to the staff, except those identified as confidential. We’ll pray for you, asking God to work and to extend grace and mercy...Read More

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