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Pastors' Wives Retreat

Pastors' Wives Resource site provided by the Sunday School Discipleship Ministries International, a ministry of the Church of the Nazarene. We want to hear about your experiences, the lessons you’ve learned and how God’s Word and prayer supported and sustained you in the joys and challenges of parsonage life.

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Christ said, My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9

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We want to hear about your experiences, the lessons you’ve learned and how God’s Word and prayer supported and sustained you in the joys and challenges of parsonage life.

All submissions will be reviewed before they are posted.

The Proverbs 31 woman drives me nuts... PDF Print E-mail
Written by Chrystal   
The Proverbs 31 woman drives me nuts. I wish she'd show up to church with a fresh piece of broccoli between her teeth. I think about her every so often. You know like right now when I read that "she sets about her work vigorously" and "works with eager hands." I look around to see dishes that are overtaking the counter and the laundry I stepped around in my bathroom. Then I read that "she gets up while it is still dark"-WHAT?? I can count on my fingers that number of times that I have gotten up "while it is still dark" and then she actually works? THEN I read that her family is clothed in scarlet...mine aren't, that's for sure. So I probably think about her every so often because I never give her the proper amount of time. Maybe I’m avoiding her. Maybe.

BUT...if I actually do take some time and consider this women I see that scripture never says she's perfect. Okay, I can deal with that. It never says she's perfectly make-up and has the latest hair style. Pheww. And it doesn’t say she never gets upset or feels a little down. Thank you, Lord!  What I see from this passage from Proverbs 31 about this famous lady is this…
1.She respects and protects her husband (v. 12)
2. She makes good choices (v. 13)
3. She's a nurturer and provider (v. 14)
4. She's a hard worker (v. 15a, 18, 27)
5. She provides for her family (v. 15b)
6. She provides and shares with others—including those not in her family—from what she has (v.15c)
7. She conducts her affairs business like (v.16a, 18)
8. She is a good steward of her finances (v. 16b)
9. She is intentional and purposeful (v. 17a, 27)
10. She is healthy (v. 17b)
11. She meets basic needs (v. 19, 27)
12. She is compassionate (v. 20)
13. She plans ahead (v. 21, 25b)
14. She takes care of her home (v. 22, 27)
15. She builds relationships with her community (v. 24)
16. You notice her character before her clothing (v. 25-27)
17. She speaks with wisdom (v. 26a)
18. She teaches (vs. 26b)

The RESULTS of these choices are: (vs. 28-31)
1. Her children and husband arise and call her blessed.
2. Her husband praises her.
3. She is lifted up above others.
4. She receives thanks.
5. She is praised in her community.

What I notice about this lady is not that she is rewarded and thanked and praised first. She makes her choices to the benefit of her family, takes care of things that need attention, and loves the people she is surrounded with FIRST. What I've learned about being a purposeful mom is that I need to live with integrity and do what's right. The thanks and reward will come later. I can't wait for other people to give me "permission" to live how I know I should. I need to do it now simply because it's the right thing to do and find joy in the journey because I am doing what I am called to do.
I am an ordained minister who pastored until three years ago, when I decided to stay at home with my children. It was hard to do that because I have "an education". I was "doing the Lord’s work". It wasn't until about a year ago that I realized I AM doing the Lord's work every time I care for the children He's given me; every time I pray for husband in his own role as pastor; every time I fold a little shirt that warms a little body that makes a little girl feel safe, loved, and cared for. Being a mom and wife is no less than serious business. No matter what our material objects might look like, we can choose to keep them clean and in as good of condition as they can be in. We can choose to respect our husbands with our words and behaviors—with how we talk, or don't talk, about him amongst our friends. It doesn't matter how much money we have. We can choose to use it as best as we can. We can use coupons; we can sell things; we can store a little away each paycheck. If we have nothing to give financially or materially, we can give out of our hearts. If we don't know where the next meal is coming from but know of a family in need, we can trust that God will bless what we have. (There has never been one time that we haven't had more than enough for a family in need of a warm meal, even when my eyes saw not enough.) No matter what we don't have, we can choose to trust God to provide abundantly more than we can ask or imagine.  Life is about choices. Choices that much like the Proverbs 31 woman make us work diligently, purposefully and lovingly and trust that in the end it will all work out.

Okay…maybe she doesn't drive me TOO nuts.


A note to Pastors' husbands –  

We welcome pastors’ husbands to visit this page and to provide insights into the needs and challenges you face. Let us know how we can minister to you and assist as you fulfill your supportive roles. Send your comments and suggestions to us at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Until then, we welcome you to join the discussions and provide resources on this site...Read More

Prayer support –

Each weekday, Sunday School and Discipleship Ministries International (SDMI) meet for prayer. All requests will be presented to the staff, except those identified as confidential. We’ll pray for you, asking God to work and to extend grace and mercy...Read More

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